The twelve new rules of dating

Without the pressure and weighty expectations involved in producing a major work, inspiration flows freely and the result is an even more accomplished piece of art.This may have been what happened with Git by Song Il-gon, the director of Flower Island (2001), Spider Forest (2004), and various award-winning short films including The Picnic (1999).Each year, nearly 2.8 million men and women go through the emotional and financial trauma of divorce.During divorce, many women are concerned about financial survival—and with good reason.View your attorney as a paid professional rather than a friend or confidante. Women tend to be supportive and sensitive to the needs of others, to build bridges, and to “make nice.” These tendencies often get in our way during divorce. You have to insist on getting what you need and deserve. If you don’t, you’ll still be able to take care of yourself financially. Use this time of upheaval to start taking control of your life.When your grief is overwhelming, go home or to a friend’s house, not to your attorney, who is billing you at his normal hourly rate. Even if you hope that you will eventually be able to reconcile with your ex, don’t bend over backwards to make it happen. Vow never to worry in the dark—if you can’t sleep, turn on the light, pick up a pencil and paper, and write down your worries.

Think about the timing of the separation: Is your husband due a bonus or other windfall in the near future?Listen to your attorney, but make your own decisions. During divorce, prepare yourself mentally for the worst that can happen. If your ex remarries within two weeks, moves to Tahiti, and/or refuses to pay any support? Divorce is an excellent time to get some career counseling at the local job center, university, or community college. Divorce can be very complicated, so don’t try to do it all yourself.This is your divorce—so take control of the process! Plan for the worst so what actually happens will seem easy by comparison. Prepare for the expense of tuition and books while you get your career on track. Hire an attorney who can give you excellent advice—even if he or she isn’t the most inexpensive.Finally, don’t just pack your bags, load up the kids, and drive away in a car that needs four new tires. The three most important words during divorce are: document, document, document.Before you separate, buy the clothes you’ll need, perform maintenance on the car, and fix the kids’ teeth. Try to obtain copies of all financial records before your divorce begins.

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