“How to catch and keep a man.” Those ads are as oddly ubiquitous as the text link ads for Acai Berry Wonder Diets, but I always assumed that ads with links like “Why Men Withdraw and What to Do About It” were for women who are more pathetic and malleable than me. Because men are so hard to understand, and Christian Carter has spent years reading every relationship book ever published, and he has thought deeply about the psychology of men and women when they are dating. So sign up and give him your credit card for his e-book at a price of .97 and his emails (interviews with relationship and dating experts) at a monthly charge of .97.
I clicked on the link–“The Ten Most Dangerous Mistakes Women Make”–and found myself swimming through simple, one-sentence direct-mail style paragraphs, like: feeling in your stomach? And then the thing you KNEW would happen actually happened: He unexplainably disappeared from your life. ” Of course, the worst part wasn’t that it happened, but that you KNEW you shouldn’t have done it in the first place… Christian Carter offers to tell women how to avoid the ten fatal mistakes most women make with men, or how to engage and attract a man right after you meet in person, if you are so good as to enter your credit card number to receive his e-book.
Because in less than 24 hours our world was going to be turned upside down. The doctor and nurses were talking to about my thoughts on social media and teenagers while they were pulling Noah out of Abbie. I grabbed Abbie’s hand and repeated a conversation that went something like this: “Are you ok? At a few minutes past ten pm our pediatrician (who was a friend and former co-worker of my wife’s during her medical residency) walked through the door, sat down, hugged Abbie, and asked me if I wanted to come over and sit near Abbie. Our family excused their self from the room, and we sat there with our pediatrician on that small hospital bed in silence. Since my wife is a pediatrician they didn’t want her to self diagnose her own baby.
As we dined on ten-dollar enchiladas, our little Noah was just hanging out in his mother’s womb waiting to come out and meet us. ) our OBGYN came in and said that we had options; 1) Keep trying for another twelve hours, (or longer) or 2) perform a C-section. I couldn’t believe my wife and I were finally about to meet this little boy we had waited so long to meet. I was sitting next to my mom on the couch, exhausted, and just wanted to see our precious little boy. My mother in little brother were also wondering what was happening. All of the whispering in the post-op room was the hospital staff trying to figure out how to contact our pediatrician this late on a Wednesday evening.
Don’t assume that just because you’ve been dating for months you’re in a “relationship” (WTF? Try to appear at all times to be a)selective b)unemotional c)hard-to-get d)a robot woman 6. It’s hard to imagine exactly what this great emotional connection consists of, except the idea that the man “feels great” when he’s with you, better than when he is single, and you as the woman are not constantly analyzing the relationship.
We had no idea that last meal was actually the last meal for our life as we knew it. It was a Wednesday night, and the hospital seemed busy so I thought nothing of it. By this point friends that had stopped by had left, Abbie was completely exhausted, and all we wanted to do was hold our little boy. It is interesting to note that we later learned that this was the reason they rushed Abbie to her room without getting to get a good look at her baby in the nursery, and hadn’t brought him to the room yet. His real name is David De Angelo, and once I had the wherewithal to do a search-binge on him, I found numerous consumer complaints from women who claimed that he wouldn’t stop charging them after they asked to unsubscribe.I could see this was a psychological master who knew how to manipulate an audience.) reading the mommy bargain books, and of course picking out the cutest new-born outfits on the planet! The nurse took my camera and snapped a few pictures of Noah on the scale, and said she would have Noah up in our room with us in about an hour! She said We were then asked about five times what the name of our pediatrician was. They wheeled Abbie past the nursery (very, very quickly) so she could look her little boy again, on the way to her hospital room. It was like the wind was knocked out of me…times a million. To be honest, in that moment I really had no idea what I was weeping about. He only wanted one thing at this point in his life. I’ll never forget the second they handed my wife our sweet son Noah. It sounds weird, but I could see the love in her heart on her face. I seriously don’t have a clue how I got anything done during those ten months. After the appointment we drove around for a bit running last-minute errands, and I don’t remember if it was that day, or perhaps a few days before…but I remember telling my wife, “You know sometimes when couples at church get up on stage and share a really sad story about something that happened to their child, and everyone in the audience is crying and stuff. I love you.” In what seemed like about five minutes, the doctor said, “Oh, wow there he is! Look at those cheeks.” I was so nervous, and so excited. They said they just wanted to make sure they had it right. Normally the nurse in the newborn nursery will hold the baby to the window for a few minutes so the new mom can spend some time looking at their sweet little baby before going to her recovery room. Everyone was crammed into our little hospital room just waiting for little baby Noah to make his grand entrance. Our pediatrician sat there with us for a little while longer, and told us a few things about what to expect, and what the next steps were. And it wasn’t an i Pad, a new rattle, or the cutest new onesy. Despite all that had just happened in the last few minutes, she was so happy.