Rules for dating my teenage son

I find myself in the unsettling position of wanting to say very conventional things like ''An 18 year old boy only has one thing in mind.'' And then I feel bad. Older guys pick on younger, more vulnerable girls because it's harder for them to say no. They mostly spent time together at school, at lunch, or met before school for coffee. I told her that I wanted to meet him before they went ''out'' anywhere. Just make sure she knows that she can call you anytime and you will pick her up. That way she might talk to you about any things she doesn't know how to handle.

Talk to your daughter about different things that can happen when she is with him and let her know she can make a choice about what she wants to do. I also tell her if he wants to ''go farther'' than she does, she absolutely has the right to say ''no''.

As for the rules themselves, I think that the rules we set for teenagers are a safety net, not a protective coating, the kids can get around them if they are determined.

Set the rules that you think are appropriate for her, if they are not 100% enforceable acknowledge this to her, and be clear about the consequences if you do find out that they have been broken.

If you could, you might want to have a goal of get teen to stop having sex.

But you seem equally convinced that this is not achievable.

I want to support her to start thinking through some of this for herself, but whereas she used to have very good judgment, these days she's running on low self esteem and hormones and I believe would follow anybody home who told her she had beautiful eyes. I talked to her about birth control and safe sex and she clearly was not ready. She went to his house once or twice, all when parents were home. When she has been out later with others I often pick her up (the joys of cell phones! I guess when there is another boyfriend I will want to meet him also.

Quite agree no preaching - if you believe your kid to be sexually active - and if it agrees with religious beliefs - I advise putting her on the pill.It's unclear to me what your goals are, and this is the first step in setting up guidelines or procedures of any sort.It sounds from your message as if you are conflicted with regard to your goal.Make sure she has condoms if she will be alone with him. Single mom of teenager Well, I don't have that much experience with this as my daughter is 15 also. This totally embarasses her and she doesn't want to talk about it, but I think she's listening.The new shot that prevents cervical cancer would be a good idea too. She's in a kinda bookish group at school, and few of her friends have ''gone out'' with guys yet. Did you or another adult chauffeur, or was it at one of the kids' homes? I give my daughter possible things to say to boys in different situations because sometimes we just can't think of the right words at the right time! anon Group dating seems to be the best idea I heard until ...maybe 18?

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