They need narcissistic supply to emotionally exist.They need to know that they are affecting someone, or someone hasn’t got over them, and that this person is at their beck and call, and that they are “captured” as a future feed if necessary. They tend to keep multiple sources of supply as backup, the same way crocodiles store pieces of meat under rocks when other food supplies fall low. The worst insult possible to a narcissist is when a person creates their own up-levelling, truly detaches and reaches the healed point of: “You Are Not My Reality.” There is no greater threat to the narcissist’s ego than being rendered Because the narcissist has no ability to generate, validate or sustain his or her own emotional well-being, people opting out of the narcissist’s stage play confirm the narcissist’s greatest terror – that he or she is unlovable, abandoned and this fails, and produces results that are far from effective in granting the narcissist comfort, connection and stability – the narcissist’s twisted perceptions then create the ultimate devaluation that the narcissist’s projected wounds have been playing out all along.You see, abusers who are narcissist don’t learn by their mistakes.They are not genuinely remorseful, and therefore not accountable or capable of real change.With comments such as “She is so wonderful, and it means so much to me to have your blessing with her.” What is this all about?Clearly mature, decent adults And why do narcissists after months or years – even if you don’t respond in any shape or form – still “throw a line” to “test the waters” to see if you’ll “take the bait?
” Why narcissists keep acting out the same behaviour – the cycles of “I want you,” and then repeatedly devalue and discard you?
Rather than acquiesce to the pressure of the reactions of those around them – in order to self-reflect and reform – they create greater defences and bigger self-maladaptation instead.
The narcissist’s False Self cannot stand being held under scrutiny, because it is above reproach.
Namely, the narcissist’s despising of you, and malicious attacks, are all to do with him or her trying to destroy the parts of him or herself that the narcissist detests; the parts that the narcissist f – getting a hit of attention to stop the narcissist from collapsing inwards and being eaten alive by his or her own tortured inner-being.
Hoovering is NOT about love; it is about necessary narcissistic emotional survival – and everything and everyone is merely an object serving that need.