God designed the two to always be paired together, so knowing how much romance to engage in when the commitment is limited is tricky. Dating by definition and design is somewhere in between friendship and marriage, therefore Christian guys and girls are always trying to navigate the confusion which is always produced by romance without commitment.Proverbs says, “Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a desire fulfilled is a tree of life.” If this doesn’t capture the tension in a Christian dating relationship I don’t know what does.It brings immense joy when two people date and then have their “desire fulfilled” if they decide they want to spend the rest of their lives together.The more commitment the two of you make, the more it makes sense to talk about the future.
You should be able to share everything with your spouse because the two of you have made one of the greatest relationship commitments available on planet earth.But you also don’t want to get too emotionally entangled with someone you might not marry, thus you still need to guard your heart since dating is not a commitment for a lifetime like marriage.So again, the whole experience of dating as a Christian is unavoidably precarious because you are constantly in danger of erring on the “too conservative side” or the “too liberal side.” Don’t ask me what conservative boundaries or liberal boundaries in Christian dating would look like. If you asked one Christian guy to make two lists, one describing conservative values in dating and another list describing liberal boundaries in dating, and then you asked another guy to do the same thing, I have no idea what they would each include.All you are going to do is increase your emotional intimacy which will influence your sexual desires, all while your commitment is too low for such feelings. I’m not saying you can never talk about having kids.But there is a difference between, “Yeah, I would like to have a big family one day,” or “O, well I actually don’t want kids at all” compared to saying manipulative things like, “I can see you being the mother of my children.” (Dude, you know what you are doing.