I was at a party with a guy once, and this girl came up to him and started dancing. But before the internet was a thing, I was a fat girl who nobody wanted to date.
And my date said, ‘I’m with her.’ And the girl gave me the dirtiest look. I was going on phone chat lines and stuff at 17-years-old, which is kind of the predecessor of online dating in a lot of ways.
A few enjoy more casual sexual experiences, while others are happy in their committed relationships. I’m always on the lookout 👀 for a good pair of ripped jeans!
But all of them have dealt with one specific thing: their bodies being at the forefront of the dating conversation. And I love that these @torridfashion ones have frayed hems!
Back then, it would really affect me, and I’d think, ‘Am all I good for is sex? ’ It felt like they thought they could say whatever they wanted to me because they didn’t see me as a person. I don’t know if that was because I was so young, and that’s just what was on people’s minds. And it’s really sad and tough, because you also have your parents at home who question what you’re eating or asking if you want to go to the gym. This last boyfriend, I really do have to give him credit. And when I saw the post, I was like, ‘Oh my god, this is so great! But we should not be putting men on a pedestal for liking curvy bodies. But when it does get brought up by guys, they tend to be like, ‘Oh, you’re into women? And I’m like yes — but I’m also into Sci Fi fiction and the conversation can go that way.
I hope so many men see this.’ But then I started thinking, and I was like, ‘Wait. It’s problematic, but we have that internal war within ourselves."So when you asked me if it was the relationship that helped, my answer is no — it was myself. And I’ve had to face some ugly truths in this relationship about how I view myself and my work and what kind of love I accept and think I deserve. I look at myself in the mirror and I think, ‘You are beautiful. The fact that they go right to the fetish thing has to be frustrating.
To all the people who are going to fat shame me in the upcoming months, it’s not me, it’s you. "You’re a beautiful person inside and out no matter what size you are," another added.
“But if anything that anybody said resonated with me as something I’d like to work on for myself, I took it in like that.
And to uncover just how different it can be to date as a plus-size person, we spoke to five women from across the country.
Some date online, while others choose a more "traditional" route.
I mean, in my experience, that kind of explicit sex and fetish talk doesn’t really happen until after we’ve slept together a few times.
But for you, it seems like sex is on the table from the get-go.