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Like many women, I'd pictured the moment my then-boyfriend would propose to me.

I’ve probably imagined a fantasy proposal moment with every guy I made it more than three dates with, and even some dudes that smelled good on a long elevator ride.

in commercials, keynote addresses, presentations, and other marketing materials.

I knew I was supposed to be super blissed out, mainly because everyone I’ve ever met texted me to ask as much. Women can certainly think about it a lot, but because men usually have the Power of the Proposal, they're able to take real, concrete time to come to terms with this massive change. And when you close that door, you close a lot of other doors, too.I couldn’t watch TV on my parents’ couch for three days straight while they waited on me when I was sick.That felt childish, and I’m officially an adult now. At the end of the day, it’s about growing up, which can be depressing as hell. Even though I couldn’t muster much enthusiasm to get the whole wedding train moving, as soon as I did a few little things like pick a season for the event and which bridesmaids I want by my side, the weight seemed lighter.You’re never going to have another first kiss, period.With the closing of those doors, I spiraled into a panic about which other doors were shutting on me.

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