Often we want the person to feel better so we say things to “talk them out of his feelings”.
This may give the unspoken message that the feelings are not okay.
When we can validate feelings we are able to show empathy to the other person.
Possible explanations (other than psychopathy) are: a low capacity for empathy and compassion, not understanding or valuing the importance of validation, and/or not knowing how to express it effectively. The well-intentioned invalidators often defend that the goal is to help someone feel better or differently — to an emotion they judge as a more accurate, more valid one.And I needed to make changes to my life (quit my job for freelancing and reduce my volunteering, for example) and stop putting others ahead of myself so that I had the time and energy I needed to write.The most profound idea that I gleaned from this book the first time around was that I alone was responsible for making my life feel meaningful.To validate someone means that you reflect back to the person that you heard him say she was feeling sad or lonely AND that you understand why the person might feel the way he feels.Messages are often given to us as children (and by us to our children) that we need to buck up, stop crying and get over it.