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Everything is unequivocally about me right now—and it's glorious. My friends often note that they can see that the assertive, self-assured Nicole returning.

This decision to quit dating and focus on myself and my career is something that I've wanted to try for a long time.

I would cry every night, hoping to get out of this awful place, but not knowing the right way to break free.

I moved back home, feeling like I had lost everything. We were living together, and he shared such a special part of himself with me—his daughter—so I wanted to stay home and be a part of her life.

But some social media users have responded with revulsion, claiming #Date An encourages women to have sex with incels to “reduce risks that plague society,” such as the mass shootings so often associated with the subculture.

While incels direct most of their hate at females, they also resent stereotypically attractive people of both sexes (known as “Chads” and “Stacys”) and even those with average looks (normies).

California-based #Date An, which aims to help members of a toxic online masculine subculture known as “incels” find love, launched this week and apparently it’s not a joke or a hoax.

If you are not already familiar with the term, “incel” is an abbreviation for “involuntary celibate” that has been adopted by men who blame women, their own genes and society at large for their inability to get sex and/or form romantic relationships.

Starting any kind of relationship right would mean compromising the strides I've made in settling down in my 30s with this new job and new, self-loving outlook, which has significantly rebuilt my confidence.And that's something I'm not willing to lose right now.When people hear the word "celibacy," they make jokes to me about romantic comedies.In recent years, several mass killers have been linked to the incel community, including Quebec City mosque shooter Alexandre Bissonnette, Santa Fe school shooter Dimitrios Pagourtzis and Toronto van massacre accused Alek Minassian, to name but a few.But the patron saint of the movement is none other than Isla Vista shooter Elliot Rodger, who wrote a 141-page manifesto detailing his deep hatred of women.

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