When you strongly view yourself as a whole person who is looking for someone to share your life with, it takes away some of the fear that they won’t like you, that your destiny is hanging on this outing, and that if they don’t approve of you, you are back to square one.
So many people carry around the same negative thoughts about their desirability.
My best friend called it “going for another round.” It took me years to realize that I was addicted to the experience of dating itself.
There is a great deal of novelty in meeting new people and experiencing new things with them while clinging to the distant hope that one of them just might click.
I find that super intriguing, want to go get a drink? After a while, it's easy to feel like starting your collection of cats and totally giving up on the idea of ever meeting the right person.
I could let myself off the hook and let the dating experiences just be what they were instead of tying my ego to them.
When I stopped hanging so much of my feelings on these experiences, I started meeting completely different people than ever before.
No wonder I felt horrible and had lots of go-nowhere relationships. Then, just like the lifespan of my favorite bras, the support system failed and the underwire started digging in.
When this happened I felt horrible, and went out looking for my next fix.