There seems to be this natural tendency to introduce the kids to the new flame.
You are excited about the new love in your life, and you expect your kids would be excited too, right? Your kids have been through a very traumatic experience. Someone new in your life is often viewed by the kids as a threat to the time they have with you and your love for them.
What I write about above comes from my own personal experience.
Hopefully, you can benefit from my mistakes (and wisdom!
If you’ve typically been a Fallback option, it’s best to steer clear of these situations unless you’re absolutely certain that whatever contributed to your previous habits has now changed.
In the end, it’s about because a person can have gone through a number of dubious relationship experiences and then gone through a period of personal growth and their current and future behaviour reflects their healthier habits of thinking and behaviour.
I get so many emails asking me about whether to date someone who is separated, recently divorced, or even fresh out of a breakup that I wanted to tackle this tricky subject.
Now of course, a person who is avoiding their feelings will just find someone else to avoid them with but somebody who is genuinely interested in you and wants to start off on a good footing won’t mind respecting your wishes – at least they’ll know that they’re pursuing something with you because it’s they want to be with as opposed to seeking a distraction that’s going to backfire when they realise that they’re unavailable. Of course some people are separated or even divorced numerous times due to shady behaviour or due to a tad too much Fast Forwarding but that’s stuff you’ll find out through due diligence, possibly quite quickly if you have your feet on the ground and are listening and watching. I know of somebody who is getting married for the fifth time and is doing their best to hide it from their family including their own children – yeah, clearly they haven’t grown or learned a damn thing from their previous marriages. Don’t enter into an involvement with your emotional airbag inflated.What you have to keep in mind is that separated is still married until the divorce is finalised and that means that there’s likely to be emotional as well as legal ties.It would be handy if we could avoid the vulnerability that comes with doing the due diligence and taking appropriate action where needed.If your interest tends to get piqued by being a ‘buffer’ to someone who is transitioning, it would be more beneficial to evaluate why this is attractive to you.You camouflaging their issues is only causing you to blend into the background of your own life.