Buddhist thoughts on dating

As Buddhists, we recognize that ego, fear, and anger are insubstantial and ephemeral, not “real.” They are merely mental states, as such they’re ghosts, in a sense.

Allowing anger to control our actions amounts to being bossed around by ghosts. In this interview with Bill Moyer, Pema Chodron says that anger has a hook.

Like all mental states, anger is temporary and eventually vanishes on its own. 233) Working with ourselves and others and our lives in this way is Buddhism.

Paradoxically, failure to acknowledge anger often fuels its continued existence. Buddhism is not a belief system, or a ritual, or some label to put on your T-shirt.

We tend to think that anger is caused by something outside ourselves, such as other people or frustrating events.

But my first Zen teacher used to say, “No one makes you angry.

“Patience has a quality of enormous honesty in it,” she said.

However, when you are dealing with your own anger, you should be more specific. Anger is virtually always an attempt to defend a self that is not literally "real" to begin with.

“All beings” includes the guy who just cut you off at the exit ramp, the co-worker who takes credit for your ideas, and even someone close and trusted who betrays you.

For this reason, when we become angry we must take great care not to act on our anger to hurt others.

“There's something delicious about finding fault with something,” she said.

Especially when our egos are involved (which is nearly always the case), we may protect our anger.

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