_______________________ Friend love: I'm in love with my best friend.We always have fun together, we have shared interests, we feel the same way about major topics (religion, family, etc). My friends tell me I need to, but I keep getting the quote from "He's Just Not That Into You" stuck in my head, "if a guy really likes you, he'll make it happen" and won't be worried about ruining the friendship. Andrea Syrtash: I think it's awesome that you've found a friend who you share so many great things with.It's wonderful that you're with someone you really enjoy being with now AND treats you well. When I ask most of my friends, they claim health insurance as the reason to marry. Andrea Syrtash: There's no one right reason to get married; it has to be a decision between you and your partner. C., NYC, San Fran) stable educated straight men can have their pick, and they know it. How can I use the (good) self-esteem tips like don't cling, hold out for my best match, don't settle, don't be a pig slut -- when they call the shots? Unless you move to another area like Alaska, that is the reality that you're facing as a single woman.I think you're instinct now is right, and it's really important to stay present. Again, I don't believe in following "shoulds" when making decision. However, I don't think it's helpful to be defeatist about it.The key is casting a wide net and making decisions based on the people in front of you, not the perceptions you have about them._______________________ Silver Spring, Md.: I'm dating a guy a met online two months ago.
_______________________ Dating outside your race: After moving to D.Andrea Syrtash: It is true that most women appreciate when a man takes initiative; however, I think you're right that men and women these days also want to contribute equally to decision-making within the relationship. _______________________ Leipers Fork, Tenn.: Why is it that the women who throw themselves without restraint at jocks and musicians when they are young are distant and unaffectionate, but demanding with the ordinary joes with the degrees and a good job that they settle for later in life? It's common for women to date bad boys at some point in their dating lives, and my hope is that they will outgrow that phase.Perhaps when these women commit to a guy who is a more realistic candidate for a long-term relationship, their demands are bigger because it's more possible to build a life with that person.Don't stress about where's it's going or how you should feel-if you want to keep spending time with him, don't question it. There are plenty of single women in all of those cities who found great guys who wanted to commit.As difficult as it may seem, it's important to embrace a perspective that there are plenty of good guys looking for you.