I was the only person sitting in the waiting area at the time. But was the situation something worth losing my cool over? In the grand scheme of interracial marriage judgements, this was amateur hour.Most people assume I can’t understand Cantonese when they hear my American English. Hong Kong women, ABC women, they all want to hook up with those white guys. But what it did make me think about was the fact that no matter where I live, no matter where I go, there are always people that notice my marriage.
Asian Dating is part of the well-established Cupid Media network that operates over 30 reputable niche dating sites. Her vet has no problem pronouncing her Chinese-Jewish hyphenate name, and the other cats only tease her because of that one time she fell into the toilet.) Though such interactions as the one above have been relatively few in my 10-year relationship with my now husband, I’d be lying if I said they didn’t happen. Living in Hawai’i was the most unremarkable my husband and I had ever felt in our marriage. The “worst” I ever got was a sincere question from a coworker asking me, “Is it ever hard for your husband to relate to your Chinese parents? I met my first Jewish person in graduate school.” It was in Japan that the reactions to our marriage in some ways intensified. (NOTE: At the time of writing this, our cat is perfectly happy being the child of a mixed race household. (Bonus Experience Points if “God”, “Jesus” or “Bible” is called upon) 3. But upon moving off the US mainland, first to Hawai’i, then to Japan and Hong Kong, the reaction to our marriage began to evolve. If people commented on our racial differences, the comments often centered on me having married a “white guy.” Even then the comments were mild. The whites, the Jews, the Chinese — nobody will ever accept them.” “WHAT. From our dear family friend and her “concern” over my husband’s and my nonexistent children, to the couple at Denny’s who loudly talked about how “upsetting” and “shameful” we were, ugly commentary about my interracial marriage usually fell into three major categories. But when people did cast judgement, there was no mistaking it, no lack of subtlety. On my husband’s side, as a Ph D student researching Japanese culture, some of his peers would lay eyes on me and, without even bothering to find out if I was Chinese, Japanese, Korean, etc., would roll their eyes and say, “Of COURSE you have a Japanese wife.” The idea that my husband MUST be so obsessed with all things Japanese that he had to “get him one of them Japanese girls” came up more often than I ever expected. I will say that while living on the mainland US, people were rather predictable with their ignorant comments. As Japan is a very polite and considerate culture, my husband and I mostly went about our daily life with relatively few negative reactions — save for the occasional stares from older people or children on the subway.