Advice dating a cop

She did get Nick's attention, but it was hardly the affection she craved.Hurt and bewildered, Liz and Nick fell into the habit of provoking each other with snide remarks.Maybe she should try talking to some of them instead of wasting time on the phone all day with her girlfriends.My sister-in-law has been a cop's wife for 25 years, but whenever she tries to offer advice Liz brushes her off. I explain that when we're in a restaurant, I am listening — but I'm also scanning the room to make sure there's no trouble. As for not helping with the kids, that's categorically untrue! But instead of giving me credit, she'll complain to her friends about the two nights I forgot to take out the garbage. She's got the kids overprogrammed with activities, which — along with all the stuff she buys — are breaking our bank account.Her Turn "Being a cop's wife means nonstop worry and tension," said Liz, 33, a stay-at-home mother of three children ranging in age from 4 to 11."But even worse, Nick totally shuts me and the kids out of his life. Do you have any idea how many birthday parties, school performances and parent-teacher meetings I've attended by myself?I've seen things I'd never describe to Liz that are seared in my brain.When you wear a badge and a gun you have to stay calm and just block out the horror, anger and frustration.

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A scenario would run through my head: I'd hear a knock at the door and his captain would be there, telling me Nick had been shot. But Nick was persistent and I was too crazy about him to resist. Even when the two of us are out to dinner by ourselves, he's always looking around the room, checking out everyone and everything but me.

"Although police officers may insist, as Nick did, that their work doesn't change them, they must rein in their emotions in order to deal with danger and violence on a daily basis.

As a result they may have trouble talking about personal matters when they're off duty.

From his first day on the force, Nick had begun to communicate less, believing that Liz couldn't possibly under stand what his days were like — or simply because he wanted to leave work behind when he got home.

He didn't understand why she interpreted his silence as a sign he didn't love her.

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